Perfectly Imperfect: 4 Ways to Shift Your Perfectionist Mentality
Many of us want to fit in, get a good job, be successful, have a happy family, be “perfect.” But what does being perfect mean anyway? The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as being entirely without fault or defect: flawless.
Let’s be honest, do you know ANYONE who fits that description? Yet so many of us try so hard to be “perfect.” “I just want to do the job “perfectly,” my outfit has to be “perfect,” why can't I have the “perfect” relationship.” The funny thing is being human is all about being imperfect! Every single one of us is completely different. We all have our own strengths and flaws and it’s what makes each one of us special and unique.
Now do you ever catch yourself not wanting to take a risk and do something new because you’re worried you won’t be good enough at it or perfect? We forget that life is all about creating experiences and making mistakes. How else would you learn? In the face of “failure” one can either choose to accept defeat and never try again OR use it as an experience to learn and grow. With this way of thinking you can accomplish far more in your life by simply taking imperfect action. When you let go of the pressure to be perfect you may be surprised with what you can accomplish. If perfection is the only goal in mind, you’ll spend your life striving to achieve something just out of reach instead of enjoying the moments along the way.
It’s definitely not easy. I find myself getting nervous every time I put myself out there to a new group of people, like teaching a new class or even doing a facebook live, because what if I mess up? What if I don’t say the right thing? What if people laugh at me or don’t like me? But at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter whether you’re perfect or not, as long as you show up as your best self and just try, you’ll be moving forward and learning something new.
So if you’re anything like me and it’s tough to want to try to do anything outside your comfort zone till you’ve practiced million times and have it down PERFECTLY (which lets be honest, it never feels perfect and ready), here are four tips:
Take Bold Action (Stop Procrastinating!)
Instead of waiting till you’re 100% ready, try new things! Be brave. Take action. See what you are truly able to accomplish when you’re not holding yourself back or letting fear take the reins.
Create Realistic Goals/Expectations
Sometimes we create too high of standards for ourselves and we’re basically setting ourselves up for failure before we even begin. Instead, set smaller measurable goals and build your confidence to build into achieving bigger dreams. Another little tip is take time to write down what you do accomplish, it may not seem a lot day to day but looking back you may be surprised with how much you actually do!
Use Mistakes As Lessons
In the unthinkable tragic case where you mess up or make a mistake, think of it as a lesson for how to improve for the future. Beating yourself up and never trying again accomplishes nothing.
Practice Self-acceptance
You don't have to wait to feel accepted by everyone else, accept yourself. Write down reasons why you love yourself on sticky notes around the house, your bathroom mirror, tell yourself when you wake up in the morning, etc. We're always the hardest on ourselves and you’d surprised what you can do when you truly believe in yourself and your abilities.
If you didn’t have the weight of being “perfect” holding you back, what could you accomplish?