Change Your State

Last week I wrote about how being selfish can be a good thing. Especially for the people pleasers (you know who you are!) who do everything for everyone else before thinking of yourself and your own well being. While sharing this idea I got a great question, “what if I have the opposite problem?” What if fear and overwhelm drive you to isolate and not get things done? So this week I want to talk about that flip side.

Some people turn inward, isolating oneself (either physically or emotionally - or both) from others, from the things they need or want, and from the rest of the world. Whether it’s caused by stress, overwhelm, anxiety, depression, fear, or some other reason, it looks different for everyone. For some people, it happens once in a while, but for others, it’s a constant struggle to feel like you’re doing what you should or need to do. It’s like when everything gets too much, it’s easier to bury your head in the sand. Now it may feel “comfortable” and “safe” in this place but it doesn’t help you grow, change, or improve as a human being, so how do we dig ourselves out?

My absolute favorite strategy is to CHANGE YOUR STATE! So often we’re laying in bed with no motivation, scrolling through social media, watching TV, and we get caught in this unproductive spiral…So what does it mean to change your state? It literally means get up and do anything different. That might mean taking a shower, doing yoga, changing your outfit, going out for a walk, doing a small chore you’ve been meaning to get done, etc. The first little push sometimes feels like it takes all your willpower to get moving but many times simply taking some sort of action starts momentum in the right direction and you’re able to keep being productive. If even that seems hard, change your physical body state. Tamar Chansky (Ph.D., psychologist, and author) says ”When we are anxious, we protect our upper body -- where our heart and lungs are located -- by hunching over.” So without even getting up you can start to change your state by just adjusting your body position, pull your shoulders back and deepen your breathing. Dr. Amy Cuddy also does research on how body language can change other people’s perceptions of us and maybe even our own body chemistry, “Our bodies change our minds, and our minds change our behavior, and our behavior changes our outcomes.” 

Pose Examples

The next time you're struggling to get things done, start by changing your state. Notice your body language and positioning and adjust it to one of more confidence and power (hell, just stand in the middle of your room posed like Wonder Woman for a few minutes and if the body language doesn’t help, you might still laugh at how goofy you feel!), then just do SOMETHING (anything!). Before you know it, it may create a domino effect that spreads into every area of your life leaving you feeling more productive, successful, and happy.