There Are Days...

There are days…

There are days that I wake up and my first thought is “I can’t.” I just want to sleep, it’s only 5 am but my mind is already racing and I can’t shut it off. 

There are days I hate my body. Nothing matters so who cares what I eat and what’s the point of working out anyway. I walk by the mirror and all I see are the wrinkles, the pimples (because after your teens apparently there are still times you break out like crazy), the extra fat, and all the other imperfections. 

There are days that I feel broken. Worthless. Stupid. Incompetent. Not enough. All I hear in my head are the things people have told me that make me “less than,” things like I’m too bossy, bitchy, inconsiderate, mean, and too sensitive. 

There are days I can’t bring myself to do anything. I just want all the hard feelings and thoughts to go away so I turn on Netflix and drown the world out.

There are days people say good things. They tell me that I’m powerful, I’m a great teacher, they enjoy my classes…It must be lies. I feel like a fraud. 

There are days I don’t even want to be around people. I feel like no matter what, I say the wrong things and then I'm stuck in my head picking over the conversation, constantly berating myself. 

There are days I crawl into bed early because I’m done trying, but I can’t sleep because my mind won’t shut off. 

There are days…

There are days I wake up and hear the birds. I open the window blinds to feel the sunshine kiss my skin. I put on music and make my bed while doing silly dances around my room. 

There are days I absolutely love my body. I stand in the mirror and admire all my amazing qualities. All day I eat what I know feels good, nourishes, and fulfills me. I exercise and feel so much joy I can’t help but smile even as my lungs are burning and my legs feel like lead.

There are days that I feel powerful. Confident. Unstoppable. More than enough. I know that I’m smart, beautiful, and skilled. 

There are days that I’m full of ideas and excitement, I’m beyond productive and completely everything that I want to and more. 

There are days I can embrace my bossy, sensitive self and recognize those things are exactly what makes me who I am, the person that I’m proud of. 

There are days people say good things and I accept them. I believe I am worthy.

There are days I read before bed and when I can barely keep my eyes open I turn out the lights and instantly fall asleep. 

…

It’s okay to not be okay. There are some days that for whatever reason our minds try to pull us down. I believe that as long as there’s balance, it’s okay. But if you start having more bad days than good, something needs to change. Each one of us has our own thoughts and struggles and we are all unique but we all need help sometimes. We are always the hardest on ourselves so it’s hard to get an objective view and learn to see ourselves differently. I’d love to help, all next month I’m doing free coaching calls for you to get more clarity and direction in your life, click here to schedule.