3 Ways to Feel Comfortable Asking for Help (and WHY you should do it!)

There are those that ask for help and support often, and those who believe they can/have to do it all alone (for the longest time I was part of the latter group). In the US, we’re more of an individualistic society, meaning there is high value in being independent and self-reliant. Sometimes so much that many of us don’t even think about asking for help. We get stuck and our first thought is “I can figure it out.” But what if you didn’t have to? What if there were plenty of people out there to help and support you? Asking can be challenging because it comes from a place of honesty and vulnerability and there’s often a fear of looking stupid, worrying what other people will think, or believing it’s only your responsibility. Today I’m here to tell you why it’s so important to ask for help and three ways to feel more comfortable doing it!

Asking for help builds a strong network of people you love and trust around you, you gain varying insights and advice that boost your growth and learning, and many times it helps you to save and value your time. You may be thinking “that sounds all well and good but I still hate doing it…” Well here are three things to do next.

Change your beliefs. Ever caught yourself thinking things like, “I should know how to do this,” “asking for help makes me look weak,” or “I can do everything on my own.” We worry we’re going to bother people or be rejected. But what’s the worst-case scenario? Someone says no? In which case you continue on doing it yourself, business as usual. If they judge you or get mad at you for asking, that’s a person you don’t want in your life anyway. What if instead, you changed your beliefs and expectations, to affirmations more like, “asking for help saves me time and allows me to grow and change faster” and “I don't have to do everything alone because I have people who love and support me.” If you don’t feel like this is true, where can you find the right people who WILL be there for you? Which leads me to the next point. 

Ask the right people and be direct. Don’t ask someone who will make you feel stupid for asking. Find a support system of people who are more than happy to help. Also, make sure you know what you’re asking and be direct about it. The best way for you to receive what you want is to be clear about what you’re asking. You don’t have to do it all alone and sometimes it’s even better NOT to. For example, starting my own business as a health and life coach comes with so many unknowns, both in running my business and talking with clients. I’ve run into many scenarios where I don’t know the answer but instead of driving myself crazy trying to figure it out, I’ve found people who have done it before that I can ask! I’m also working on developing a team of consults so if I ever have a difficult time knowing what to do with clients I have a network of experienced people that I can ask for advice. Sure, I could pretend to know all the answers but asking for help not only gives me the opportunity to provide others with the best care possible but also helps me to learn and grow. 

Practice. If asking for help is something that is foreign and challenging for you, make a list of small things you can ask for and practice! Something like asking for help with the dishes or other tasks around the house, maybe ask friends for help bouncing ideas off of them for your new project, or you can even ask people advice online. Practice searching for places you can reach out, ask for help, connect, grow your skills and confidence and become the best possible version of yourself.