8 Strategies to Feel In Control
Life is challenging right now. Worldwide people are quarantined, borders are being shut down, grocery stores are empty, and toilet paper is impossible to find. Lots of people are scared and confused. I had a trip planned next week for Peru and as of this morning, the border is now closed. I have a mix of thoughts and feelings, logically knowing it’s safest to stay here and wait it out, but there’s also my wanderlust soul that simply feels out of control, heartbroken, and devastated. My blood pressure is through the roof and my anxiety is at an all-time high, so if anyone is feeling a little like I am, this is for you. A while ago I wrote about 10 Ways to Fight Anxiety (<— click the link if you’d like to start there), so today I may share a few similar tips but I wanted to give you more strategies to feel more in control and empowered.
1. Take a few deep breaths. Right now, close your eyes and breathe in for 5 seconds, 1-2-3-4-5. Hold for five seconds, 1-2-3-4-5. Exhale for seven seconds, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7. Repeat at least three times. Okay, now you can read on.
2. Acknowledge what you can/can’t control. One of the hardest tasks is recognizing what you truly have control over. You don’t have control over other people or many external circumstances but you do control yourself. For example, I have no control over borders being closed and thus not going on my trip. I do however have control of my thoughts and actions, I can choose to wallow in self-pity and waste my time off or I can choose to figure out something I CAN do that will still bring me joy.
2. Get organized and create to-do’s. When you feel out of control, sometimes it can feel good to create more order in other areas of life. Organize your space or create a to-do list and check things off to feel more productive and in control.
3. Reduce Stimulus. We’re bombarded with TONS of stimulus with the internet and social media. Right now there is an insane amount of exposure and information about coronavirus and it can start to be overwhelming. Turn off your phone and the TV, shut down your computer and instead of being externally overwhelmed, take time to internally create.
4. Go for a walk. Studies have shown that being in nature reduces stress and there are a number of positive benefits of movement (stimulation of brain chemicals that elevate mood, increases energy, reduces stress, helps memory and sleep, etc). So when in doubt, walk it out!
5. Learn something. Learn a new skill, pick up a new hobby, or start a new project. Controlling how you’re spending your free time well help you feel more productive and accomplished.
6. Associate Selectively. As human beings, we are social creatures, but every person is unique and we all interact with each other differently. Have you noticed how when you hang out with one person you feel/do different things from when you see others? Notice the people you spend time with that make you laugh or boost your mood versus people that feel like their sucking your time and energy, choose to be around those that support and uplift you.
7. Listen to your intuition. You know that “gut feeling”? The one that tells you something does or doesn’t feel right? Your intuition is like a muscle you have to train, some of us may be very good at noticing it while others have a more difficult time. It's important to always check in with ourselves and do what feels right for us in the moment.
8. Work on your beliefs/thoughts. There are a few ways to do this but my favorite top three simplest ways are gratitude practice, pep-talks, and affirmations. Gratitude is simply taking time to write down, or even just notice the things you are grateful for. Pep-talks could look like talking to yourself in the mirror, writing a letter, or just thinking/saying things to pump yourself up. Try it! “I am awesome because…, I will get through this. My strengths are….”. Finally affirmations, the word originates from Latin’s “affirmare" meaning, "to make steady, strengthen." Affirmations are statements that can be made, written down, said out loud, meditated on, etc. in order to train our thoughts to be more helpful and supportive. Here are a few examples I read this morning:
I am loved and supported
I am capable and valuable
I will focus on the positives
I can overcome my negative thoughts
I am calm and safe in this moment
I have survived all my hardest days
Whatever is happening in your world right now, I hope you find these tips helpful. Reach out if you need support. We will get through these tough times.
"Hard times are like a washing machine, they twist, turn, and knock us around, but in the end we come out cleaner, brighter and better than before.”